On the right side of Time

We have all been that girl. The one that loved the boy, that didn’t love her back. Sure, he “liked” her a whole lot; but, for some reason, she just wasn’t “the one.” The girl, knowing this; but, convinced her love will change him, sticks it out, for way too long and for as long as she can. Until, she/he can’t take it anymore and the relationship falls apart. The girl leaves the “relationship” hurt, bruised, and perhaps a little wiser. She recovers. She is now stronger, smarter and ready for a new relationship. It’s not coming along. There is a serious man drought. She thinks, “Sheesh, this is why I stuck with (insert name) for so long.” She wonders what he’s up to. If he misses her. Nope. He’s already met someone else his “Ms. Right.” They’re getting married. It’s only been 3 months. Their engagement picture is on Facebook. How the hell did this happen?

Men say it over and over again. It all has to do with timing. They say it so much, that I even journey to believe that it’s true, in most cases. According to them, the process involved in going from “unready,” or “emotionally unavailable” can take place overnight. Most women find this very hard to believe. It has to be the woman. She’s doing something that the others didn’t do. She has an invisible “marriage material” sign on her forehead that only men can see. He says, “No.” She just arrived at the right time.

I have been on the wrong side of time at least twice. Met and dated some really great men; respectable brothers that I could see myself with. They liked me alot, perhaps even loved me; but, for various reasons related to “timing” (career, finance, other responsibilities), he/we just couldn’t make it gel. Timing always seemed to get in the way. It became the bane of my existence, my enemy, when all I wanted was to become was its friend. When could I ever get on the good/right side of time?
And what do we make of the women who are actually on time’s side? The ones dating and marrying the men we helped cultivate throughout the years? Are they merely beneficiaries of circumstance or do they have “something special?”

According to the timing theory, circumstance and proximity to the man play a huge part; however, I’d beg to take it a little further. Yes, timing plays a huge role; however, one could speculate that these women also have the “it” factor. “It” being, they are not you. Being with you for months/ years and you having given him your all, good and bad, has taught him exactly what he wants, as well as what he doesn’t want. She has arrived right at the point where he’s open to love; but, tired of the monotony and frustration of dealing with someone that he knows he can’t be with (you). Agree??

Note: No one wants to be the practice chick. But, what about the men? They obviously weren’t the ones for you. They were practice for you. Why can’t we accept that the right time for us, might not be the right time for him?